Nag Less, Pray More

Category: Mothering Adults (Page 4 of 4)

Celebrating the Empty Nest

Almost everything I have read while anticipating and newly experiencing the empty nest defined it in negative terms. When Googling the empty nest, words surrounding it include syndrome, coping, grief, depression, loneliness, loss of purpose, worry, and stress.  It sounded horrible and something to be avoided at all costs.  I briefly debated between never allowing my children to leave and bracing myself for the onslaught of this dreaded affliction, but I knew I would be stifling my children if I didn’t allow them to experience the independence that they were designed to attain.  The fact that children have the confidence and knowledge to move beyond the four walls of their childhood home is a testament to our success as parents.

I have found the empty nest to be a time of joy, freedom, and celebration.  I am not lying awake, listening for the key in the front door in the wee hours of the morning.  The clutter and laundry only belongs to my husband and I.  When we get together with our children, it is because they want and choose to spend time with us.  We love hearing tales of their new adult lives, and we have new tales to tell them as well. We have the freedom to travel without much forethought about logistics surrounding the children.  We no longer have bathroom wars over anyone taking too long or leaving it in poor condition.  My husband and I enjoy each other and the extra space.

While we will always miss our children and treasure the memories of the years they were under our roof, it’s time to take an optimistic look at a job well done in raising our children to successfully fly away from the nest.

 

Those Dates that Stick Out in your Mind

David grew as tall as his father about the time he obtained his driver’s license.

As soon as I wrote the date this morning, I scratched my head, trying to recollect why this date stuck out to me so much…  I know that March 23 is my paternal grandfather’s birthday, but he passed away when I was four years old, so that didn’t explain the draw.  Then Facebook reminded me that eight years ago on this date, my firstborn obtained his driver’s license.

I remember the grin on his face after his successful exam, as if he could do anything in the world.  I was so proud of him, yet I hoped that it wouldn’t mean that he felt that he outgrew his need for us.

This piece of paper or the date, March 23, 2009, may not seem like that big of a deal to most people, but it represents the beginning of my children’s independence.  David no longer had to ask me for rides in the trusty family van, and he could give his sister rides where she needed to go.  I missed the conversations we would have while driving places, but I confess it was so helpful to have an enthusiastic and capable substitute when I couldn’t drive or didn’t want to.  It was also the beginning of my independence.

Each time that he pulled out of the driveway, I would marvel that my boy was old enough to drive and say a silent prayer for his safety.  Eight years later, I still marvel…and I still pray.

What are the dates that stick out in your mind?

 

I Don’t Feel Old Enough

Tomorrow I am going to drive myself down to Winters to the childhood home of my daughter’s fiance, Joe, to spend the day with Joe’s mom for her birthday.  We plan to go out to lunch and try on dresses for our children’s wedding coming up in July.  After we finish our fun day together, I will drop her off then drive over to my daughter’s house to spend the night with her.  All of it sounds very wonderful, and I’m really looking forward to it.

Then what could be the problem?

Although my outward appearance proves otherwise, inside I barely feel old enough to be married, let alone old enough to have a daughter getting married.  I’m not one of those women who normally does the whole “lunch and shopping” kind of day, yet I know that this will bring Joe’s mom and I closer together and help us get ready for this wedding.  I am still surprised I am considered grown up enough to be out on my own, yet my 23-year old daughter is living in a different town, successfully navigating her way through her first year of teaching.  I still feel so young and uncertain inside, much like a young teenager.

But in a few short months, I will be celebrating my 50th birthday!  The wrinkles congregating in the corners of my eyes and my cracking knees testify to this fact.

I’m wondering when I will ever feel fully grown up in my heart of hearts.  When will I have the confidence to believe that I am really an adult?

Newer posts »